How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
