you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
