sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
