only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize