I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
