areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
