i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you win again, gameday.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
