Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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