i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
