spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
