Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
