I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
