I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize