I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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