Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
