Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Randomize