Where is the hickey?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
