I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
