I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
