yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
