That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
