I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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