Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
