I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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