Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
