Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I party with great urgency now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
