he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
