Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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