haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
