apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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