I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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