Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
