i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize