Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
