My first STD was from a foam party
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
