i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
