Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize