I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
