There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
