is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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