idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
