Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
