Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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