There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
