I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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