just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize