We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
