at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
