so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
