Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize