He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
