We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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