brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
