But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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