Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
