Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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