how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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