Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
