Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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