Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
