By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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